I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize