I think im going to throw up on grandma
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
