We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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