You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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