Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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