pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
