susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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