Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
