I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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