Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
