I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
