you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
