I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
