i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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