We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
