Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
