i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
