Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
