Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize