As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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