just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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