Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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