I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
