So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
