U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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