how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
