just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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