What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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