Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
