cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I look excited, but its just a facade.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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