I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
