dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
