There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
