I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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