Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I am puke
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
