go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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