she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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