boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
