WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
