About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So squirting runs in the family.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
