I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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