I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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