do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
