see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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