Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
