I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
