i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
