It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am midnight drunk by noon
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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