Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
