Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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