I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize