I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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