If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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