so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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