im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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