was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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