She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
