fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
