Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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