I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
