Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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