Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
